Recently I found myself surrounded by extended family for a long weekend.  Typically I would leave such a weekend feeling deflated and even a bit beaten down.  This time I decided to do my best to detach from the situation so that I could observe the interactions from an objective viewpoint.  This was not always possible, as there were times when my own ego was teased out of it's protected shell. 

For the most part, I was able to stand back and watch the dynamics unfold as Mothers, Daughters, Fathers, Sons and status members from across the entire family interacted and jockeyed for power and position.  It was both sad and fascinating to see.  The hopes, expectations and roles everyone had either buffeted against or dutifully climbed into had clearly been established long ago. 

So much of who we are is proven to have come from these people we call family and yet in moving in and out of each others lives we carve our own way and become other beings.  This can sometimes be overlooked by the other players if the changes are subtle and still in line with their general idea of who you are and where you fit in the family.  If, on the other hand, you have truly reinvented yourself by moving so far away from the you or your yesterdays that it questions the overall family dynamic then it is possible you will become an outsider. 

As human beings we are driven to gather, to be part of a group, a family.  So much so that we may unconsciously climb back into old uncomfortable roles to satisfy the need to remain connected to our family.  Still in the equally important drive to reach our full potential it may be time to free ourselves from the constraints of such limiting family ties.  Opting instead to create our own families, be they of blood or friendship, so that we may fully express our own light in the world.
 
 
Remember back in kindergarten when they had you grow the seed in the little cup?  You place the seed in the soil and you water it and soon enough a little green shoot appears.  Thoughts are seeds - when we understand this we can GROW any thought into reality... the secret is that even if we don't understand this we already GROW our thoughts into reality. 

I was sharing this with a client recently - who had grown an unpleasant reality for herself.  One she was quick to blame on everyone and everything else - until I explained how her thoughts (worries and doubts) had given her just what she planted. 

What we discovered was that she wasn't sure the goal (seed) she planted would actually grow and so instead of trusting the universal law of reaping and sowing she continued to dig up her seed by casting doubts and rebuffs at it as it was in the growing stages. She didn't realize that it was just under the surface and ready to shoot to the sky.

As a gardener herself she understood that any seed will die if you continue to pull it up and examine its growth.  The key then is to plant the seed, water it,  feed it, and have faith that in time it will produce the fruit you expect.
 
 
A client of mine was fussing over making what seemed from the outside to be a very simple decision.  He is a very intelligent man, he's well respected, his clients pay him handsomely for his advice and yet here he was faltering over a single choice.  As I reminded him of this he smiled and said he didn't want to make the wrong choice since the item he was purchasing would be with him for a long time.  I assured him that he could always purchase something else if this didn't turn out to be what he wanted but that either way he had to make his own choice.

The heart of the issue wasn't what he was purchasing as much as the fact that he was able to make the purchase.  As we grow and become more successful we end up having more and more choices available to us and with that freedom can sometimes come a weighted sense of responsibility.  Like someone who's gone out drinking (for the 1st time) on their 21st birthday we can feel overwhelmed.  Worried that we get it "right" we sample everything in site, get caught up in the rush and decide we have to have it all right now and then wake up in the morning with a horrible hangover. 

The trick is to realize that as long as you are breathing - anything is possible.  Most, if not all, of our decisions can be changed if needed.  So, it is up to us to make the best decision for us, for where we are at the time, with the information we have before us.  Since there are endless possibilities for how life will look five years from now, let alone five minutes from now, sometimes it is best to just close your eyes, go with our gut and leap before we look.